


The Only Thing She Didn't Have Was a Flying Motorcycle

by theemdash



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crossover, Drunkenness, Gen, Humor, Magic, Never Have I Ever, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-02
Updated: 2005-11-02
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10065788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theemdash/pseuds/theemdash
Summary: Some time after his surprise that space flight was not only probable but customary and her surprise that some magic was real came the understanding that Vala and Sirius were incredibly sloshed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I still vehemently insist that The Curtain is really just a very oddly-shaped Stargate, hence the logic of Vala and Sirius meeting.

Some time after his surprise that space flight was not only probable but customary and her surprise that some magic was _real_ came the understanding that Vala and Sirius were incredibly sloshed.

They didn't quite blame their drunkenness on playing "I Never," since playing with two people as deviant and shameless as they were limited the amount of drinking involved.

Until Vala had confidently said, "I never believed in magic."

And Sirius took a big swig.

Which led to Vala's eyes nearly bugging out of her head and her gasping, "You don't."

"I have to." His voice was hoarse from the burning alcohol.

"No. It's just science, technology," Vala insisted. She felt her pockets, then checked her bodice, finally finding a small cube tucked between her breasts. She held it out and a hologram popped up from it showing Vala smiling, waving, and winking on a beach. "No magic."

Sirius grinned. He shouldn't have done it—really shouldn't have—but the alcohol and his natural Sirius-ness made him slide his wallet from his pocket and dig until he found a photograph. James and Sirius each had an arm around the other's shoulder and were laughing hysterically, sometimes bending over, sometimes pointing, but always laughing.

Vala blinked and snatched the picture from Sirius' hand. She waved the paper, held it close to her eye, turned it over. "How does this _work_?" She dropped it on the table. "Now that's technology I could sell." She poked the picture. "I have buyers." 

Sirius smiled to himself, watching as he and James just laughed. 

She snatched the picture away before Sirius could grab it. "I mean, really. Professional curiosity aside, you have to tell me."

Sirius plucked the picture from her fingers and shrugged. "It's magic."

Vala set her lip, pointing at the picture slipping back into Sirius' wallet. "No. Falling in love is magic—if you want to call it that. That—that is technology."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Let's just get back to the game." He picked up his bottle and toasted her. "I never . . ." Sirius reached for the absurd. "Had sex in a spaceship."

"Don't think this lets you off the hook about that technology." Vala downed a mouthful of liquid.

Sirius blinked.

"What?" Vala slammed the bottle down. "Like you're the bastion of virtue."

His mouth opened and closed before he sputtered, "In a _spaceship_?"

She waved her hand. "Sometimes it gets dull. Or cold. Or Daniel looks absolutely delicious because he's pouting . . ." She trailed off in a smile.

"Spaceship," Sirius squeaked.

Vala rolled her eyes. "Get over it, will you?"

He made some choking half sounds. He waved his hands, making staccato movements in the air. "They're not real!"

Vala tilted back her bottle. "Oh, but magic is."

Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at the bottle still in Vala's hand. " _Accio whiskey_." The bottle flew out of her hand and into his open one. 

She looked at her empty hand. He smirked. 

After several more small demonstrations including conjuring water, transfiguring a cup into a mouse, and charming Vala's shoes into dancing, she finally believed him.

"So it's magic— _really_?" She sort of believed him.

Sirius pushed his hair out of his face. "I really shouldn't have shown you any of that." He squinted at the bottle, finally realizing that they'd consumed almost a bottle each of extremely potent and acrid alcohol.

"Spaceships are real, too," Vala said. "I have one." She dropped her voice and leered. "We can go have sex in it, if you like."

Sirius barked with laughter. 

Vala nudged his calf with her bare foot, her shoes still off dancing. "C'mon, finish the game; we've each got just a bit left."

Sirius smiled and lifted his bottle. "It's your turn." He took a swig anyway.

Vala stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. Her eyes lit after a brief moment. "I never rode a flying motorcycle." She watched Sirius with something like homicidal glee.

Sirius lifted his bottle and drained it.

Vala dropped her bottle, not noticing as it upended and spilled all over the floor. "I thought I was making it up."

"I had one," Sirius said. He deposited the empty bottle on the table. "I loved that bike."

Vala leaned over and gripped his arm. "Can you make another?" Her eyes were so wide, Sirius wondered if her eyes could fall out.

He shrugged. "I suppose. Just need the bike. I should be able to remember all the char—"

Vala pulled him to his feet and was dragging him away from the table. His chair toppled over and Vala's shoes were still half-heartedly dancing in the corner. 

"I know where we can get a bike." Vala's mouth was moving as fast as her feet; Sirius was having trouble keeping up. "We'll have to steal it of course, but I don't think you'll mind that. And that magic thing should come in handy." She stopped dead in her tracks and Sirius nearly fell over her. "Oh, I can't wait to have my own flying motorcycle." The tone in her voice was wistful, like a child longing for a puppy after her mother forbade her from ever having one.

Vala spun and quickly kissed his cheek. "I knew meeting you would be a good thing."

Sirius grinned, was reminded of James' attention span, and had a momentary epiphany of what it was like for Remus to be his friend.

Then Vala tugged Sirius' arm again, keeping up a constant dialogue as she explained that they'd have to take her ship to get there, and won't Daniel be surprised, and she doesn't mind stealing Sam's bike anyway because she had it coming.

Sirius' smile deepened and for the first time he thought, _falling through that weird curtain actually wasn't half bad._


End file.
